I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
