I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I wish my penis had an off switch
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Boobs speak an international language.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
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