Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
