It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
