dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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