Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I think people are normalizing furries
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
