I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize