In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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