It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
