genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
