Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
