After last night, I could never be a politician.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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