Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
