Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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