Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
