The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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