We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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