I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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