Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
