I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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