Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Randomize
