drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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