shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
whose parrot is this?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
