I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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