You really coming over, don't trick.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
