You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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