Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
