Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
