It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
