Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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