Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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