mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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