i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
