1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just pee around me
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
