So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
