I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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