Can Purell be used as lube?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
