Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
