oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
