Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
