apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
