Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
