Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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