I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
