what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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