How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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