In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
