you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Bring me that man meat
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
