Where is the hickey?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
