Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
