I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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