if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
