Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
