If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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