I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize