She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
