the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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