Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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