Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
