i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My life is pants optional.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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