I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
